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Grow through what you go through

I often like to say that life is simple, however sometimes it shakes you up pretty bad and you ponder upon the big question - How will I ever overcome this?

Believe me, you are not alone in this. We all have such days where we question everything and everyone.

In moments like these I remember the following two quotes :

" All you can control in life is how you respond to life"
"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference"

I want you to think about these for a moment and the situation that is making your life hard.

Then I want you to list them down and put them in following categories.

a) Can change it

b) Can't change it

This will allow you to acknowledge the problems and you will know what you have to let go and what are the things that you can truly work upon.

Yes yes, it is easier said than done. But you owe it yourself gain perspective, to find purpose, and peace (The three P's, we'll talk about this in detail in another article)

There will always be things that we cannot change, things that bother us, things that break us

and things that send us in a state of utter sadness. So much so that it feels like we have hit a rock bottom. I am not saying that you can ignore them right away, but if anything is troubling you this much you have to learn to let go. You have to divert your mind. You have to change your focus. Your mind is really strong and sometimes you have to let it guide you and ignore what's in your heart. Harsh, but it is the right thing to do. I can't tell you how many opportunities or moments I have missed because something was bothering me and to this day I consider it as wasted time. The reasons no longer bother me but that wasted time does.

It is hard to be able to actually apply the art of letting go. Especially the unexpected changes and scenarios that are tossed your way but you can put in some time everyday to practice it. We all regularly save money for the rainy days then why we can't train our minds to deal with such situations. Yes, things will effect us but thanks to our training it will not impact us the way it was going to.

Now that we have talked about the what and the why , let discuss about the how?

There are hundreds of books, videos available that would allow you to gain some perspective, not everything they say might make sense to you but you have to identify the ones that does. You need to understand that each of us are built different , we think differently and we have to honor that. A trick that works for someone might just feel useless to some. I am putting in a few things that you can try and decide to do for yourself:

10 things to do to overcome pain:

  1. Meditate - It helps to gain clarity of your thoughts, identify the real pain points and make your soul stronger.

  2. Cry out loud - I know it might sound a little cliché to some of you but crying does help. It help you lighten up , so when you can't hold it in let it all out. And once you are done you are in a much better position to re-focus on important things.

  3. Journal - When it is a chaos in your mind , putting your thoughts on paper is a good idea. Again, it helps you to let your emotions out and is a really good way to feel heard.

  4. Keep your positive affirmations ready - Read them out loud to yourself, let yourself know how strong you are. How easy it is for you to overcome anything, how you will emerge stronger from this.

  5. Give yourself time - Nothing can be fixed right away. We all need time. So allow yourself the privilege of time.

  6. Nip overthinking in the bud - One of our biggest issue is the phrase 'what if'. When you find yourself going in the wrong direction turn all your focus and energy towards something that will divert you from the crazy thoughts.

  7. No Expectations - We all are guilty of this , we expect a lot from the world, from the people we know, even from ourselves. Think about it, it is something unrealistic. No one is liable to fulfill your expectations, then why have them when it hurts when not fulfilled. This is a harsh statement but trust me it is a necessity.

  8. Do what makes you happy - Find out hobbies that you enjoy, books that will transport you to another world, TV shows that gives you joy. It can be anything as long as it makes you smile and lets you get calm.

  9. Focus on the things that you can change - you obviously would have things you want to accomplish , go and work on those. Make plans, cross out that long overdue to do item. IT WILL GIVE YOU THE PERSPECTIVE, PURPOSE & PEACE.

And please remember , whatever I mentioned above is not something that you do only when you are in pain/under stress/anxious. You practice them regularly, that is how you would persevere and win this battle.


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